You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work… Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I’ll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest.
-Little Miss Sunshine
December has snuck in like a thief in the night and robbed us of November. November was full of family, friends, wine, and the subsequent hangovers that these all inevitably leave behind. Crawling out of the November haze it is time to detox and decompress. Detox here is defined as sticking to only white wine and consuming less garbage. Honestly there was a week when we could have been mistaken for well dressed, well educated, highly functioning raccoons.
We have been staying with Jesse’s family for almost a month now and there has been laughter, tears, and a nervous breakdown or two. Jesse’s mom has gone above and beyond to open her home to us and I am beyond grateful for all they have done for us. That being said, sometimes I want to go outside and dig a 5ft 4in hole in the ground and hide in it. No offense to our gracious hosts it is just that some things should not be discussed at the dinner table such as politics and religion. Coincidentally those are the only things that end up being being brought up over our meal. The only safe route is to shove as much food as you possibly can into your mouth so that there is no room for words to possibly escape. I understand that some people would love to see nothing more than an AK-47 toting Jesus high-fiving the president whilst drop kicking refugees, I am just not a card carrying member of that club.
On another less offensive note I am absolutely embracing being 17 again. “Play hard nap hard” is my new life motto and I will never turn down a meal that comes out of my mother in law’s kitchen. Speaking of being 17 I’m also realizing that I’ve lost the the stealth I once prided myself in. I used to be able to climb out of my window, leap over a sago palm, traverse a fenced in field and sneak into another house all without rousing a soul and then do it in reverse. I would go to such lengths as to put my car into neutral and push it down the driveway than navigate a mile down the road with no headlights on to avoid detection. Now when I tiptoe into the living room at 4am I immediately knock over a lamp, step on a cat, and trip an alarm leading to a long string of muttered curses and made up words. What I’m trying to say is my in-laws may be growing tired of me and our presence.
This all leads us to our newest venture, purchasing a winter home that we can own mortgage free while we travel. Here are some terms that we have picked up on in the process:
- Cozy Small, so small, very tiny, it’s actually just an outhouse with a new metal roof and attached garage.
- Florida landscaping have you ever seen a banana spider? Google it, that is Florida landscaping, face eating spiders hiding in wannabe trees.
- Historical Haunted. There is a 100% chance of a poltergeist in this home, if you are lucky it’s Casper, if you are not you are dead.
- Foreclosure They stole the appliances, stripped the copper wiring and did an “upper decker” in the toilet, bring lots of bleach.
- Chateau You can not afford it, do not even look at it.
Somehow in the Wild West that is the Florida real estate market we have managed to find a home. A little fixer upper with big potential and a two car garage with room for the bus.
While we wait for the realtor to hand us the keys we are able to start planning our next road trip. The goal in April is to head to Northern California for the season. We anticipate this trip to take between 10 and 12 days and cost us around $125-$200 a day which includes food, gas, and accommodations. This means I need to start stashing money like a squirrel getting ready for winter. I don’t like stereotyping but I am Jewish and know a thing or two about saving money so this should not be an issue. I am definitely not a “fly by the seat of your pants” type of girl so the planning is half of the adventure for me.
So here I sit waiting when I’m used to going. Waiting for a phone to ring, waiting for a letter to come, and waiting for the other shoe to drop. We find ourselves again in the in between time and I’m getting used to being used to it.
And so it goes again, our eyes meet, his mouth curves, and my world changes.